You were always the right one
by XeniaEJ
Summary: What if Bella was to late at Volterra to safe Edward? What if the rest of the Cullens left her in grief and only Rosalie and Carlisle stayed with her? This is my version of what would have happened if Edward died in New Moon.
1. Introduction

A/N: Hey there everybody! This is my first story ever, and I am very nervous to put it out in the open. It's like a little baby to me and therefore I'm very anxious to let you hold it in your hands. I've read fanfiction since I was 13 and now I want to share some of my own thoughts and my passion for writing with all of you.

This story will be about Bella and Carlisle and the romance that could have been between them. It is based on a "What if" concept and I've changed some things from the original concept.

I've not written an end for this story yet and therefore I want you guys to be involved in the development of this story. Your comments will decide the actions and I can't wait to hear your thoughts during this process!

No more notes from me this time! I will explain the concept below and upload the first chapter ASAP!

I hope you will enjoy this story, and I can't wait to hear your reactions to it!

CONCEPT:

The story is based on the following question: "What if Bella was to late at Volterra in New Moon and all the Cullens except Carlisle and Rosalie left her because of sorrow and grief over Edward?"

In this version of the universe Carlisle and Esme are divorced and Alice has a hunger for revenge that we wouldn't normally see from her side! I hope you will follow the story and please leave some comments and thoughts already – it would be awesome! I hope to upload a chapter before the 24th of December 2011. Now that it is Christmas I have a lot of time to write.

My Beta reader is DecemberEclipse and I couldn't have started this without her – thank you honey 3 Maybe the first chapter will be without beta reading, we will see! I can't wait to share this story with you!

XoXo Xenia


	2. Chapter 1: Death

A/N: Hey everyone! Finally the first chapter is done and I can't wait to share it with you. I want to thank my Beta-reader ! Thank you honey! Without you this would never have been possible for me! This chapter will not be too long because of Christmas and my work (I sing in a choir and therefore Christmas time is busy for me), but I promise you that a new chapter will follow closely!

Also thank you to the many subscribers I already have – I'm so flattered!

Recommended music for this chapter: The Breaking Dawn soundtrack

Enjoy the first chapter of "You were always the right one"!

XoXo Xenia

Chapter 1

BPOV

Alice parked the car in the middle of the Palazzo dei Priori and told me to run. I ran faster than ever before. It didn't take long for my legs to start aching but I kept on going. I had to make it! I couldn't live without him! He was my soul, my life. I couldn't bear the thought of living without him for one more day. the months without him had been the worst of my life.

I sprinted through the crowd, pushing my way through forcefully, determined to get to him in time. A sudden thought erupted in my mind, _what if I was too late_? _What if Edward has succeeded in his plan of suicide? _I shook the negative ideas out of my head and kept running. The carnival parade started and more people came to the center of the square. I caught sight of the big alley, the same one Alice had told me Edward would be.

"EDWARD!" I called frantically.

The bystanders turned to stare at me while others ignored my desperate attempts to get through. Finally after what left like an age, I broke through and the fountain came into view and directly across it was Edward. I stumbled and fell into the cold water. I barely registered the scrapes on my elbows and knees, the panic seemed to have numbed me somewhat. I sprinted through the fountain and headed towards the alley once again. Before I knew it I was caught in the mass crowd of the carnival procession, I tried to avoid it but a boy grabbed my hands and dragged me in, attempting to dance with me. I struggled to escape but he took the gesture as a sign of cooperation and began to spin me. Feeling very dizzy and nauseated, I managed to break free from him. I turned around to find the alley and realized that the guy had taken me further from it.

"Damn it!" I murmured and started running again. My legs couldn't carry me anymore and my knees started to shake. Tears started running down my face because of the pain. It was too late. The dreadful thoughts kept coming back to me, and it was now, more than ever I wished for Alice to be beside me, to reassure me that everything would be okay.

The alley was so close and I could see a young man stand in the shadows. He gazed at the parade. His torso was naked and the pale skin, I could almost hearing him calling my name. I fell in love with him all over again. I started smiling through the tears. I would make it and soon we would be together once again.

The big bell started ringing. I had 11 strokes to make it. Only 500 meters and then I would be reunited with my beloved Edward once again.

1st stroke.

The dancers kept coming in my way and I felt like screaming to them. People kept pushing to get in front of the line and I had no chance to run anymore. I had to twist myself around in the crowd.

2nd stroke.

I couldn't breathe. Too many people.

3rd stroke.

"EDWARD!" I called again, but my voice was drowned out by the noise of the carnival.

4th stroke.

My heartbeat became faster and faster.

5th stroke.

"ALICE!" I begged in desperation.

6th stroke.

I loved him from the bottom of my heart.

7th stroke.

I could see him come forward.

8th stroke.

His beautiful skin and the sun met.

9th stroke.

He looked like diamonds.

10th stroke.

His eyes still looked like amber.

11th stroke.

His torso was glittering. The people who stood near him turned and looked at him. Some started to scream.

12th stroke.

I fell to the ground. It was too late. I started screaming. I was scared and I had no idea what to do. Edward hadn't seen me running towards him and I could see the sorrow painted on his face.

He stepped back into the shadows and I got back on my feet. The people who had seen him were gone. They'd run as soon as they'd seen his skin shine like beautiful diamonds.

I caught sight of a dark, towering figure sneaking out from the shadows. He had the same pale skin as Edward but his eyes were blood red and filled with loathing. His long black hair was straight and cascaded down his shoulders like an ebony curtain. Edward turned around and faced him. The man smiled at Edward and there was a strange sparkle in his eyes.

The killing happened so fast that I didn't even saw what happened to the love of my life.

One moment they were hugging each other. The next figure grabbed Edward's head and separated it from the rest of his body. Edward's body fell to the ground and collapsed. The man ripped his arms off and the legs as well. Before anyone could see what happened in the alley he sat Edward's body on fire. I started shaking and I ran once again. This time I ran back towards the car and Alice. I couldn't bear it. Edward was dead. I came too late.

Alice ran towards me when she saw me coming alone. I knew that she had had a new vision because of her expression. If she had been able to cry she would have and she looked even paler because of the chock.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorry." I cried and hugged her.

"You were too late," Alice sobbed. "When I saw the turn of events it was already too late. I couldn't do anything."

We walked back to the car hand in hand. I was afraid to go home to the Cullen's and tell them what had happened. What if they blamed me for Edward's death? Would they ever forgive me?

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Please let me know what you think, good or bad :)<p>

Merry christmas from me to you :)


	3. Chapter 2: Sorrow

A/N: Hey my dear readers! Thank SO much for believing in this story! I can't believe that I have so many readers already! I was sick during Christmas and therefore I had a lot of time to think about how get through this chapter. Luckily I have the best beta in the world and her awesome words and support always keeps me going – thank you baby!

Good music for this chapter will be Owl City and Nightwish – I listened to both writing this chapter!

Enjoy chapter 2!

XoXo Xenia

DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT Stephenie Meyer and all the characters belong to her! I've rewritten her story and used all of the beloved persons she invented for us!

Chapter 2

BPOV

Returning to Forks was possibly the second worst experience of my life. The first was after I'd seen Edward ripped to shreds by the Volturi. I had to tell my friends, my dad, and my teachers that my boyfriend died in a car accident when he was traveling in Italy. The thing that made the situation worse was Jessica. She kept coming to see me during the days I was unable to make it to school. I never spoke to her, unable to face her fake sympathy.

Charlie was lost and had no idea what to do. He let me grieve in my own time and was always there whenever I needed a hug or just to be with someone. To my big surprise he started cooking and cleaning. If I had the energy I would have been overjoyed by this sudden change in this behavior. He always asked me if I needed anything or what I wanted for dinner, and it was through this difficult time I found out how much I loved my father.

After a week I attempted to adjust back to normality, to go at school every day and be around people. Edward wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my days locked away in my room crying. He had always wanted me to live. It was important to me that I kept going. My life couldn't end. Charlie, my friends, mom, and Jacob needed me.

When we came back the Cullens wanted to be left alone. They needed to grief and hunt without me being around them.

I understood and before I knew it, but it didn't help the fact I felt so alone. It was only when Jacob Black came over to provide support and a shoulder to cry on. Charlie had called him and told him everything.

When I saw Jake I wanted him to leave. He'd always hated my relationship to Edward, and I figured he would try to make me forget about him. It was no secret they hated each other. When he sat down beside me and grabbed my shoulder I wanted to scream and kick him. Everything was just like he wanted it to be. The _"bloodsucker"_ was dead and he could have me all for himself. I thought he would tell me something like, _"it was for the best, Bella. Now you can have a normal life" _or something. But he didn't.

"I'm so sorry Bella," he said hugging me. I sobbed and hid myself in his warm t-shirt and shook my head.

"_I miss him so much!"_ I moaned and fell to the floor. I started shaking and I rocked from side to side in the desperate seek of comfort.

Jake came down to me and made me relax a little. I caught my breath and he looked me in the eyes. We stayed on the floor and talked for hours. I told him how Edward had died, and about the Cullens no longer wanting to see me anymore.

"But I want to see you, Bella," Jake tried and cupped my cheeks in his burning hands. I tried to smile, but Jacob and the Cullens would never be the same thing.

"Thanks, Jake," I said as I tried to stand. I failed and ended up collapsing on my bed. "But the love of my life is dead. I have no idea what to think anymore. I need Alice and her smile. I need Emmett and his big brother like attitude. I need Esme with her kind smile and motherly nature. I need Jasper to calm my feelings when I can't myself. And I need…"

I stopped. I needed Carlisle too. He was the man whose arms were always open. I could always count on Carlisle. He was the one who would change me if Edward couldn't when the time came. My heart beat faster and faster. I missed Carlisle and his cold hugs. I missed his smile and his warm sparking gold eyes filled with compassion. I missed him – really bad.

"But I need you, Bella," Jacob sighed and sat down beside me. "I need you because... you know why. I love you Bells. I have loved you all along and I can't imagine losing you. He's dead. Now I'm here. And you will never have to change for me."

I looked at Jacob. I was shocked. I could not believe he said those things to me. I knew he loved me and that he would always want to be with me. But I was in deep sorrow because of Edward. How could he be so selfish?

"I want you to leave, Jacob," I said and stood up pointing at the door.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

"But I do," I hissed through my greeted teeth. "You're selfish and you don't care about how I feel right now. I need you to leave me alone!"

He tried to hug me, but I ran out of the door before he could reach me. Every time he hugged me I missed Edward's cool touch. The warmth of Jacob would never make me feel as safe.

Charlie stood in the kitchen and looked at me. His brows rose when I put on my shoes and took my car keys from the self.

"I thought Jacob was here…" he started, but I looked at him and shook my head.

"I don't need Jacob right now. I need the Cullens."

Charlie tried to convince me to stay but I kept shaking my head. Jacob only made it worse. I was not able to handle his feelings for me at the moment - especially because to me Jacob would always be a friend. When I opened the front door, Jacob came running down the stairs.

"Wait Bella!"

I turned and looked at him. I tried to place all the anger in my eyes, but instead I started to tear up.

"What, Jake?"

He pulled me outside, smiled to Charlie and closed the door. He put me inside my truck and closed the door. That way we could be alone and talk without disturbance.

"You do remember what happened right before Alice came back, don't you?"

I looked down at my feet and tried to hide from Jake. Oh yes I did. I promised myself what Edward or any other Cullen should never know about it. It would be a secret that I would bring to my grave. No one could know of it!

"What if Alice hadn't returned, Bella? We could have continued. I know you would've," he continued.

I wanted to tell him it wasn't true. I wanted Edward. But I had been with Jacob. He was the only one left and somehow he healed the hole inside me. When I was with him I could put Edward and the time with him behind me. It was the past to me when I was with Jacob. As soon as Jacob and I separated, Edward was back and I missed him.

"The kisses and touches didn't mean anything."

I started to turn away, but Jacob leaned towards me. Before I knew it his lips touched mine, and his hands searched for my breasts. I tried to get him off of me, but he was strong and he held me in a tight grip. His tongue searched for mine and I responded. The times with Jacob meant something. He was the one I would have been together with if the Cullens hadn't returned. I might never have learned to love Jacob as much as I loved Edward, but I would have been happy. I could stay human and live my life with my family. I wouldn't have to hide as a newborn and flee to never see them again. With Jake I could be normal.

His hands continued to caress every inch of my body. Slowly, gently he took my hands in his and placed them over the waistband of his jeans. He wanted me. I knew. And if this didn't stop I would want him too.

"Jacob stop!" I moaned between the kisses. I couldn't do it. It was wrong and my destiny was no longer with Jacob. The Cullens had returned and that had to mean something.

"I know you want this, Bells," he whispered in my ear biding my neck gently. I closed my eyes and counted to three. My body wanted it, yes. But my mind didn't.

"NO!" I pushed him away.

"Jacob they're back. I'm not going through with this relationship! Maybe we would be together if they had never returned, but not now. The Cullens are back and my fate is with them just as it was before they vanished. I'm sorry, but please leave me alone."

I couldn't bear to look at him. He didn't say a word. He kissed my cheek and got out of the car. He stood by the open door and looked at me. I could feel his eyes piercing through my shield of hair.

"If you ever change your mind, Bella."

"I won't, Jacob." I said and closed the door. I started the engine and drove towards the Cullens. In the rear-view mirror Jacob stood and looked after me. I shook my head and tried to get him away. The guilt felt like a big rock in my stomach. I needed to focus. I needed to talk to the Cullens.

* * *

><p>Here it is: The second chapter!<p>

Please let me hear your thoughts because I was really nervous posting this!

What has happened between Bella and Jacob while the Cullens were gone?

What will happen when Bella arrives at the Cullen residence?

Once again - THANK YOU! I'm so happy for all of my readers and I can't believe I've got so many already - LOVE U! Happy new year :)


	4. Chapter 3: Goodbye

A/N: Hey there! Sorry, it's been a while since my last update but wow I've been busy! I started at my new work and I've had so many projects to follow up on. Now I'm back and I'm so happy for all the readers I have so far – you guys are amazing and I wouldn't be able to continue if it wasn't for you guys! THANKS A LOT! I hope you had a great new year's eve – I did!

Once again I would like to thank my beta, December _Lenoir because she is amazing and she always helps me when I need it the most.

Because I truly love twitter and I use it way too much I wanted to share my account with you. You can find me here /#!/XeniaEJ

This chapter contains scenes involving Jacob and Bella and their physical relationship. It is written in italic so you can ignore it if you want to.

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. All the characters belong to her. I just twisted the story a bit ;)

Happy reading!

Xoxo Xenia

Chapter 3

BPOV

I drove through the forest and tried to forget about what had happened with Jacob. It felt like he was sitting right beside me looking at me with those hungry eyes. I knew he wanted me. But the worst part of it all was that I had wanted him too. I tried to focus on the road, but Jacob's words kept popping into my head.

"_I know you want this, Bella_."

The line kept flooding through my thoughts. I couldn't concentrate and I needed to figure out how to handle the Cullens and what to say to them. I knew they were in deep sorrow. I knew they would hate me when they saw me. It was my fault that Edward had died. I was too late back in Volterra. I started to shake. What if they hated me so badly that they wanted to kill me? After all Edward was my mate. Now with him out of the picture I wasn't a part of their family anymore. And I smelled good. Maybe they wouldn't be able to resist my scent anymore?

I pulled in to the side and stopped the car. I needed to clear my mind before dealing with a coven of grieving vampires. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my seat. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I needed to face my worst nightmare once and for all before I could go to the Cullens and talk to them about Edward.

_Jacob was my savior when the Cullens left Forks. When I was with him the hole in my chest was healed. I could breathe and think about myself and I felt happy. Charlie used every chance he got to invite Billy and Jacob for dinner or lunch. When they weren't with us I was in the reservation with Jack. I worked on motorcycles and I loved to see him work. After he became a werewolf his muscles had grown and he looked like a man. He'd cut his long hair and he often walked around without a shirt when we were in the garage. Because of his change he always felt hot and therefore he hated wearing a t-shirt or a sweater. He needed to when he visited Charlie and me but in the garage we could be ourselves. _

_Jacob finally told me that he was done with the motorcycles. He grinned and asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. I had never ridden a motorcycle in my life but I wanted to. It might be able for me to see Edward once again. I was sure I'd seen him when Jessica and I went to the movies. When the movie was over and I saw the guys on their bikes Edward came. He told me to leave. He was with me the whole time and I needed to see him again – just one more time._

_Jake told me how to speed up and use the brakes. I drove as fast as I dared. And then I saw him. He was there with me by my side. He told me to stop and pull over. I didn't. He begged me to stop. I didn't. He got desperate and cried out loud. He wanted me to stop and I looked at him._

"_Only if you'll come back to me," I said and drove even faster. _

_Of course it misfired. I crashed and my head and a big rock collided. I bled and the next thing I remember was Jake carrying me home to his house. He put me down on his bed and started to dry the blood away. I could feel the warmth from this body and I closed my eyes. I felt safe with Jacob. Maybe, just maybe, I could fall in love with him. I would always love Edward. He was my soul mate and the hole inside me would always be there. But Jake could fill it if I gave him a chance. _

"_Why are you so clumsy, Bells?" Jacob grinned and left the room to get some plaster. I grinned and tried to sit up. My head started spinning and I lay down once again. Jacob come back and gave me some cool water. My throat was dry and I drank all the water from the bottle. Jake's grin got even bigger when he applied the plaster._

"_As good as new," he said and stroked my cheek. He laid down beside me in the king size bed and looked at me. _

"_You know…" he started to say while stroking my arm and my hair. "You're so special. I've always loved you Bella. It hurt so badly when he left you. I tried to do everything right but I felt like I was failing every single time. I wanted you to be happy again. When you smile, I smile. I love you."_

_I wanted to leave and never see him again. Yet, the voice inside my head kept telling me that I could have a happy life with Jacob. He would never be Edward, but I could be happy with him. I turned and faced him. We were so close and looked each other deep in the eyes. Before I knew it Jacob kissed me. His lips were warm and soft. I responded to the kiss. I needed him to love me and hold me. My body responded to the kisses and I leaned against him. He put his arms around me and kisses me more passionately. I let it happen and stroke his cheek. _

_We started to French kiss and Jacob lifted my shirt. His warm hands found my breasts and touch them gently. I moaned and kissed him more eagerly. This was it. We would be together from now on. I had to forget Edward. Jacob was the one who was left now. He would never leave me and he would never hurt me the way Edward had. _

_Jacob took his pants off and I pulled my shirt off. Everything happened so fast. Jacob took off my bra and my pants too. He kissed my collarbone and licked my earlobe. I moaned and ran my fingers through his hair. I tried to pull off Jacob's boxers but then he stopped._

_He examined me and frowned. _

"_Are you sure you want to do this, Bella?" he said. I could feel his lust. His desperation. His need. I wanted to nod but I couldn't. I tried to talk and I couldn't. What the hell was wrong with me?_

"_Is it too early?"_

_This time I nodded. I couldn't tell him why. I wasn't ready for sex. I'd always wanted my first time to be with Edward - His cool skin against mine and his marble body as close to me as possible. _

"_We can wait, Love. We have all the time in the world."_

The rest of that night we were in bed almost naked. We'd talked about almost everything and it hadn't felt weird at all. After that we'd cuddled a lot of time. But we'd never had sex. I knew we would've if the Cullens hadn't come back. It was weird to think about. My destiny was with the Cullens - I knew that for sure after they'd returned. I could never love Jacob the way he deserved.

I was ready to see the Cullens. I could tell them everything about Jacob if they wanted to know. It was over for me. I didn't love him. He was my best friend and he always would be. But I needed the Cullens. They were my second family and I couldn't live without them.

I started my car once again and drove. When I saw the beautiful house I started crying. It was almost like my home and I couldn't wait to see the whole family again. My stomach did a backflip stomach and the ache in my head got worse. Edward wouldn't be there. When I opened the door I wouldn't hear him sitting by the piano playing my lullaby.

I rang the bell instead of just going in. I needed to be careful. Carlisle opened the door and smiled at me. He didn't look surprised at all.

"Alice saw me coming, didn't she?" I asked and couldn't help but to grin. Carlisle nodded and moved so I could enter the house. The smell of the Cullens made me feel even more at home. I loved this beautiful, light house and I just wanted to run to Edward's room and see him sitting there waiting for me. _It had all been a bad dream_, I thought, even though the stone in my stomach got bigger and bigger.

"Why are you here, Bella?"

Carlisle looked at me and examined me. I was afraid he was angry with me for coming.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Carlisle," I started. "I-I just needed to see you guys. I need to be with you right now. I can't figure out what to do with myself. I need my family right now."

Carlisle frowned and stood completely still. I wanted him to speak to me, but he was silent for several minutes. Finally he looked at me and smiled. Yet, the smile didn't reach his eyes at all.

"Please come in, Bella. We have a lot to talk about."

The stone inside me got lighter and I smiled in relief. They wanted to see me! I walked behind Carlisle and we headed to the big living room. The whole family sat in the couches and they all looked up when I came in. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. I'd missed them so much and I ran to hug them. Nobody rose to accept my hug. I stopped. Something was wrong. Alice wasn't smiling at me like she used to. She sobbed and her eyes were full of hate. I got scared and took a few steps back.

"What's happening, Carlisle?" I asked. He was the only one standing near me. Alice started to sob again and Jasper tried to calm her down. Emmett was sitting beside Rosalie opening and closing his hands. He was restless and his eyes were black. He needed to hunt soon.

"We've something we need to tell you Bella," Carlisle murmured and asked me to sit down. I took a chair from the big dining table and sat down. I was afraid to be in the couch with the sobbing and black-eyed vampires.

"We've been in deep grief ever since Edward died. Some of us more than others." He looked at Alice. When she tried to look at me she moaned and hid her face in Jasper's shoulder. He put an arm around her and strokes her cheek gently.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Bella. We know that you miss him too, but…"

"TELL HER CARLISLE!" Alice shouted, interrupting him. Her shrill angry voice was filled with pain. The fire in her eyes made me back off even more.

"We're moving Bella - For good this time. Every time we see you, we'll be reminded of him. We need to move on with our lives without you and without Edward. You'll never see us again. You could have saved him, Bella! Why didn't you?"

Alice stood up and turned towards me. I was terrified. I had no idea what to say. I tried, didn't I? I'd lost him too - the love of my life. And I was the one who saw him die. I wanted to yell at Alice but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry Alice. I did my best! I'm so sorry…"

"THAT'S NOT GONNA BRING HIM BACK! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU BELLA!" She cried more than ever and fell to the floor. Jasper got to his knees and tried to get her back on her feet.

"Leave our sight Bella. We'll be gone tomorrow morning."

Alice left the room crying and moaning. I had no idea what to do. If the rest of the family left I would be all alone. I should live the rest of my life without the Cullens. I wouldn't be able to do that, I knew. I needed them, more than ever right now,

"Please forgive me, I lost him too. Don't you guys dare to leave me as well!"

I started to let the anger out. I looked at Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett. I just needed one of them to stay.

Emmett looked at me and sighed. He left the room without looking at Rosalie. She ignored him as well. What had happened?

"Bella please sit. Rose and I need to talk to you. It's important." I sat down beside Rosalie in the couch. She smiled at me and took my hand.

"Bella, it's my fault that Edward wanted to kill himself." I knew Rosalie had told Edward that I'd died when I was cliff diving with Jake. He had gone to the Volturi because he felt guilt and he couldn't imagine a world without me.

"Alice saw you jump from the cliff and I told Edward that you did because of the fall. It wasn't true, I know but I hated you so much. I couldn't understand why you wanted this life so bad. You have no idea what you're asking for, Bella. I needed to stop you from being with Edward. You deserve a normal life."

I was in shock. Rosalie had never cared for me before. She'd always looked at me like she wanted to kick my ass or something. And now she held my hands and told me why she'd lied to Edward.

"I know you could've stopped him. But he wouldn't have gone to Volterra in the first place if I'd just kept quiet. I'm so sorry Bella. This was not a part of my plan."

Somehow I wanted to scream at Rosalie, maybe even give her a few slaps. I felt guilt every single day and she was the one who told Edward a lie in the first place. And yet, she was filled with sincere remorse. She wanted to be forgiven; I could see the evidence in her glossy tear filled eyes.

"I forgive you, Rose. I'm sorry too. I should have been able to save him back in Volterra."

We hugged each other and smiled. For the first time ever I felt a connection to Rosalie.

"We want to stay here in Forks. We don't blame you Bella. Carlisle and I still love you like family. We can't imagine a life without you anymore. Edward brought you in to our lives and we want you to stay. If you want to."

I looked from Rose to Carlisle and they both smiled and nodded at me. I knew they meant it. The stone in my stomach disappeared and I nodded.

"I want to be with you guys. I'm so happy for your choice." I smiled and sighed from relief. Jasper and Alice were leaving the next day. They were not able to forgive me for my actions.

"Are they leaving only because of what I did?"

Carlisle sat down beside me and put an arm around my shoulders. "No, Bella. They're leaving because of Rose too. Her lie started it all, and she's said sorry. Unfortunately, they are not able to forgive her. Even Emmett is leaving. He cannot be with her anymore after what has happened."

I hugged Rosalie. She'd lost a brother and now she was about to lose the love of her life as well.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," I said and sobbed. I could feel her pain when I hugged her, but she shook her head and gave me a reassuring smile.

"I'm okay. We've talked a lot about it and it is for the best if he leaves too." I was not able to understand their decision, but at the same time it made me happy because I would still have some of the Cullens in my life.

"I think it would be best if you leave us now, Bella." Carlisle said and squeezed my shoulder. "Alice is not too fond of you right now. Please come back tomorrow after school. They'll be gone by then."

I nodded and rose from the couch, "I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow then. Please tell Alice that I'm sorry and I hope to see her someday. Maybe she'll be able to forgive Rose and me in time."

Carlisle followed me to the hallway and hugged me. "Everything's going to be okay Bella," he said and stroked my hair. I smiled and nodded.

"See you tomorrow."

I waved and walked to my car. In one way I was happy and relieved, but in another I felt like the worst person in the world. When I drove him I couldn't stop seeing Alice follow me through the forest. Every time I looked at the treetops I saw her sitting their looking at me with hatred in her eyes. I shook my head and focused in the road in front of me.

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Please let me know what you think!<p>

I wanna thank those of you who've reviewed the story so far!

What will happen now the Cullens are leaving Forks?

Will Alice ever be able to forgive Bella and Rosalie?

What do you want to happen next :D?


	5. Chapter 4: Love

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it's been this long since my last update. If had a lot of things to do, but now the chapter is finally done. It has been so hard to write this chapter, and I couldn't have done it without your wonderful support! I truly love you all!

Also thanks to those of you who've asked a lot of questions to this story. In this chapter I'll tell you a little bit more about why Esme is no longer there - all your questions will be answered :)!

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this chapter, I've worked really hard on it :D

Xoxo Xenia

Chapter 4 - Alone

BPOV

The next day at school everybody cast strange glances at me. Rosalie was the only Cullen left at the school and I spent all my time with her. It was still too hard for me to be together with my old friends. After Edward's death everyone looked at me like I was a ticking bomb, just waiting for me to explode in a torrent of misery. Jessica was hugging me every time we met in classes or the cafeteria, and Mike told me to come to him if I needed to talk.

Rosalie and I sat down at our usual table at lunchtime. I asked her what the other people were thinking. Rosalie was the best person to read people - well except for Edward.

"They think you live in the middle of a tragedy after what happened to Edward and our family. First you lose your boyfriend and then you lose your mother in law, your sister in law and your 2 brothers in law. You're losing everyone you love".

I shook my head and started eating my salad. What if they saw me like some bad luck charm or something? Thinking about it, it was rare for the others to sit beside me ace Edward died. They were behind me in classes and I was suddenly sure that I'd heard them whisper about me when they thought I was listening to the teacher.

"Well, it's a good thing I have you then," I smiled and looked at Rosalie. It was weird for me to get along with her this well. Somehow we'd made a silent deal about being friends because we had no one else to come to.

"So," Rosalie started to say, "Do you have plans after school?" I smiled and shook my head.

"Just homework," I sighed.

"Want to go to my place?" she asked and lifter her eyebrows. "I think we have a lot to talk about after yesterday."

"Sure, I would love to! Charlie is looking at me like I'm going to have another nervous breakdown or something! Please let me hang out with you for a little while. I could use a distraction."

After school I gave Rosalie a ride back to the Cullen's residence. We entered the house and I could hear Carlisle walking around inside humming while listening to some Chet Baker. He was in the kitchen making something that smelled so delicious that my stomach immediately started to make the most alarming sounds.

"Hey girls" he said when we entered the kitchen. On the big flat screen Gordon Ramsay with telling Carlisle how to make the dish, which he was preparing. The scent of garlic and chicken filled the house and the smell made me all dizzy.

"Rosalie told me you would be here for dinner so I decided to prepare something delicious for you. I hope you don't mind"

I smiled and gave him a hug before sitting down on one of the big chairs at the dining table.

"You're too kind, Carlisle," I said and grabbed an apple from the bowl of fruit they had bought for me. I couldn't wait for the dinner to be ready. The smell alone was making me hungry.

"We have a lot to talk about after what happened yesterday. The least I could do was sure you wouldn't starve during the conversation."

He arranged the food on a platter and put it in front of me. It all looked so delicious and I started eating as soon as he sat down beside Rosalie.

"How are you feeling Bella? We know it's been really hard for you after Volterra and the drama back here."

I was all busy eating the food and I swallowed it all. Of course I burned my throat and coughed for a few moments. Carlisle gave me some cool water and I nodded in thanks, blinking to cast the tears from my eyes.

"It's been so weird. They left yesterday and I feel like it's been ages. It must be so much worse for you guys. You've been together for decades - literally! I feel so sorry for your loss."

Carlisle smiled but it never made it all the way up to his eyes. "Don't be sorry for us Bella. We will handle and the most important thing is that the rest of our family will be happy whatever they choose to do now."

"Like when Esme left you?"

Carlisle sighed and nodded. For him the divorce between him and Esme had been the worst thing he'd ever experienced. We had never talked about it out in the open, but Edward had told me a lot about it on the nights he'd spent at my house.

_Edward came used my window as always. He waited till Charlie slept and then he laid down beside me and kissed my forehead. We used almost every night together. We talked a lot but at some point I would fall asleep. But this night was different. At school he told me we needed to talk. Something has happened at his place and it was serious. I was afraid someone had died, but he told me it was something between Carlisle and Esme._

_From the beginning Esme had loved me like her own daughter. She and Rosalie agreed on one thing: I should never be turned in to vampire. Edward and I were soul mates and I was a part of the family like any other Cullen. But I had a choice and therefore I should not be turned unless it was absolutely necessary. It was so hard for me to accept, but I loved Esme and therefore we never talked about turning me when she was around. Carlisle loved the idea of having me as a part of the family and we agreed on that he should be the one to turn me because of Edward's lack of self-control. _

_All the nights I'd spent at the Cullen's they had discussed my transformation. Mostly, something had happened between them and they fought every time I saw them. The love that had been when I first got to know their family had vanished. _

_That evening Edward and I talked about what it felt like being him back home those days. He told me he wanted to be with me all the time because it was too hard for him to see Esme and Carlisle like that. I was nervous when I asked him if something was up beside my future as a vampire. He nodded and I could see the sorrow in his eyes._

_"They're getting divorced. They cannot be with each other anymore. Not after what Esme has done." Before I could ask him what he meant he said: "Esme has been seeing another man. She is in love with him and he knows our secret. She wants to be with him now. All the time she thinks about him and it breaks her heart every day because she has to lie to Carlisle about her feelings for him. He understands her and wants her to be happy - that's who he is. But I can read his mind and he is breaking down inside. He loves her so much and he cannot imagine a life without Esme. Nevertheless he has to let her go, and he knows. She will move tomorrow. Her and her new love will live in London. That's where he's from. He is in Forks on business and has to go home tomorrow. Someday when she is ready she will turn him. I guess that must mean she understands why you want to be turned now."_

_I was in shock. It was unbelievable that Esme and Carlisle no longer would be together. I'd always said to myself I wanted Edward and me to be like them once I was turned and we had known each other for decades. A life without Esme would be like a life without a mother. She was like a mother to me because Renee couldn't be a part of my everyday life. And now she would leave us for another man. Sure she should be happy but I kept thinking about poor Carlisle who would lose his soul mate forever. _

I came back to reality and ate the rest of the food. The silence wanted to be broken but no one did it. I coughed and rose from my seat. Carlisle did the same. Before I knew it I ran to the other side of the table and hugged him. He held me close and I could smell the comforting scent of him. I hid my face in his sweater and I never wanted to let go.

"I love you guys and I cannot believe you stayed here with me. It means they would to me!" I tried not to cry but the tears ran down my cheek and the mascara made black spots and Carlisle's white shirt.

"We love you too Bells. More than you can imagine."

When we finally sat down I couldn't stop looking at Carlisle. He had needed that hug and so had I. The smile reached his eyes and for the first time in what felt like ages he looked truly happy.

"We're going to stay here and continue what we've done so far to blend it. Rose will stay at the school and I will continue as a doctor. When your school is over in 1, 5 years we will find out what to do then. Now we just want to enjoy the time we have with you here at our place."

I smiled and nodded. I liked the idea of the Cullens staying for that long. They wouldn't leave me tomorrow and it gave me comfort. I sighed and went over the conversation in my head. We would still have each other and that was the most important thing.

I rose and placed my plate in the sink before I thanked Carlisle for the wonderful meal he had cooked me.

"I better get home, it's late and I have lot do homework to." I took my bag and went to the hallway to grab my shoes and my jacket. I hugged Rose and Carlisle one last time and drove home to Charlie.

CPOV

When Bella left that night something weird happened to me. I wanted her to stay all night. She could sleep here if she wanted to. I wanted to talk to her about her school, her future plans and her favorite movies or books. Her name made me all warm inside and if my heart had beaten it would beat faster every time I heard her name.

Her smile and laughter gave me goose bumps and I wanted to hold her close all day long. My dearest Bella. I hadn't felt like that for a woman since Esme.

I stopped myself. It wasn't right. Bella was Edward's mate, not mine. She was in deep sorrow because if her loss and I would only make it worse if I started to hit on her. I loved her more than anything in the entire world, but it could only be as my daughter - Never a lover or a mate.

I wanted her so bad but it would never happen. Bella. Beautiful. Fantastic and pretty. She was perfect - and I could never have her.

When I hunted that night I passed her house several times. I needed to make sure she was safe. My dearest Bella...

* * *

><p>Once again I'm so sorry for the delay of this chapter. I really hope you enjoyed it and some of your questions got answered. If you have any more questions, please write to me because they are such a big inspiration for the story and how it will process :)<p>

Here are some questions I would love for you to answer :D!

What will Carlisle do about his feelings for Bella?

Do you want to hear what Alice is doing and how she feels about Bella and her state of happiness?

Are Bella and Jacob over for real?

Cant wait to hear your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 5: Past

A/N: Hey everybody! I've worked on this chapter in the train and I love the peace there with the music in my ears. Nothing can disturb me there, except for my beloved tweeps ;)! This chapter contains a lot of flashbacks from the time where the Cullens left Forks. As usual it is writing in italics so you can move on if you want to.

I still keep getting readers and it makes me so happy - please please please! It would make my day and this story if you wrote your thoughts and some questions for the story - it keeps me going when I have your thoughts with me during the process :)!

This chapter is for those of you who've wondered what happened between Jacob and Bella - and what Carlisle feels about it - yeah, he knows more than Bella thinks ;).

See you guys soon! Love you, my awesome beta reader and music for making this story possible!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the persons or the universe the story takes place in. It all belongs to our beloved Stephenie Meyer. What I do own is my lovely cat, Jack, and some socks with a lot of mustaches on :)!

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 - Past<p>

BPOV

When I came home Charlie had already gone to bed. I could hear his snoring from the bedroom and I sneaked up to my own room. In the old days Edward would wait for me when I got up there and it was still difficult to accept he would never come back for me. I packed the schoolbooks for the next day and started doing my homework. Charlie had the early shift and therefore I had to resist putting on music while finishing my biology assignment.

Several times I opened my window and looked at the lawn. I looked for Edward and a part of me hoped he would come out from his hiding behind a tree or something. Nothing happened. I sighed and returned to my assignment.

When I finished a sentence and looked out of the window there was no one to be seen. Yet, once in a while I was sure some one was there - Some one with pale skin smiling at me comfortably.

Never mind, I thought to myself and continued my homework. I was sure my mind played tricks with me and I ignored the fact that some one might sit in my window watching me making homework.

A thought came to my mind. I couldn't stop it before it was finished. I missed Jacob. He was the one waiting for me when Edward and the Cullens left town. I still felt bad for us being more or less together but it was the past and I couldn't change the fact that it had happened. Jacob had been patient - more than any other guy would have been. It had no idea how to explain it because I knew he wanted me. A part of me wanted him too. I never gave in even though my body screamed for the love and satisfaction he could give me.

I closed my eyes just for a second. Should I call Jacob and ask him to come over just like in the old times? I'd pushed him away when the Cullens came back. And I had thrown him away even though we were together somehow. If he wanted to see me I was the luckiest girl in the entire world. On the other side he'd almost tried to rape me in my car on my way to the Cullens. How would he react when I told him I wanted to see him again? Like an invitation to continue where we left of?

I hit my face in my hands and sighed. All the thoughts gave me a giant headache.

'Just like old times' I murmured and before I knew it I fell asleep at my desk. I dreamed about the old days with Jacob. The dreams had haunted me ever since we stopped seeing each other and this night was no exception.

_Jacob and I had a deal saying he should come over every night because I hated sleeping alone after Jacob left. When the nightmares started he could wake me up and Charlie could get his good night's sleep because I woke before I started screaming. Of course Charlie didn't know. He just thought I was getting better and enjoyed my smiley face at breakfast. Jacob would come when I texted him and he would climb to my window and sneak in just like... He'd done it._

_Because of his fever like body and his transformations he only wore pants. My window was always open and when he arrived he would come to the desk, kiss my cheek and lay down on the bed, waiting for me to finish my homework. We never spoke unless I had a question related to the things I had to do. As soon as I closed the last book he would be beside me and lift me from the chair to the bed. His warmth made me feel safe and it relaxed and all fear left me. _

_All the nights were different but one thing characterized them all. Jacob wanted me but he still managed to have an extraordinary amount of self-control. Never did he rip my clothes off or begged me to be with him because he wanted sex. He was gentle and behaved like I was made of glass. _

_He kissed me lips and cupped my face in his hands. His body fit mine perfectly and we were as close as possible. _

_One night he had lit candles while I did my homework. It was the night before the Cullens returned. When we were in the bed he turned all the lamps off and lay down beside me. _

_His lips caressed my nose, cheeks and neck. Warmth spread through my entire body and I let out a little groan. He took it as a good sign and kept going. Slowly he started kissing my neck and my collarbone. His hands worked the buttons on my shirt and found its way inside. His warm hands were burning but this strong heat felt like a really hot shower. His fingers worked like they had done it a thousand times before. Only this time something was different. We knew this time it would be more than cuddling. For the first time ever I didn't feel nervous about being with Jacob. I wanted to be with him even though Edward was my mate and I was his. To me this was as perfect as it could be for me. _

_I kissed Jacob and I put all the passion in it I could manage. Jake responded to the kiss and he _ _opened my pants and threw them away together with my shirt, bra and hipsters. Totally naked I pulled him closer and his body screamed out to come nearer. His body wasn't new to me. Yet the thought of him inside me being my first scared me. I wanted it to be Edward. He was the one for me. _

_'_He's gone forever. You'll never have him. Be happy for what you have not what you had.'

_Jacob stopped the kisses and touches and looked at me. He frowned and I tried to smile comfortably at him. I wanted him to know it was all right. _

_"I love you Bella. Really. I'm so glad you're finally mine." He kissed me once again and put a hand at my thigh. His fingers stroke me while speaking to me. _

_"I really want you to be sure honey. We can wait if you want to."_

_More stroking - this time at my inner thigh. _

_"I will be so gentle to you Bella"_

_His hand made my legs spread._

_"I'll take good care of you"_

_And then it happened. He has teased me so many times and now it fisnnly happened. It felt so natural that he was the one beside me all of a sudden and I gave in. He was so gentle yet he was able to bring this side of me forward, I groaned and kissed him hard. He responded to the kiss and before Ali knew it a wave of pleasure hit me. I came and pressed my body against his while tightening my grip in his shoulders. He was over me before I knew it. _

_"Do you want me, Bells?" he asked and started touching me again. I moaned and nodded._

_"Tell me"_

_"I want you Jacob."_

CPOV

I hate to admit it but after we left Forks I came back once in a while to check on Bella. In the beginning she was just sitting in her room and it was a pain to watch her. She just sat there and nothing happened. She never left for school and Charlie had no idea what to do. Even when I stood behind her and wanted to take her in my arms, she never turned and saw me. Her world was ruined and without Edward she had no idea how to live her life.

Every time I watched her I did it for Edward. He needed to know she was still breathing. All those months in her room she breathed. But she was nothing you could call alive. Like a zombie she sat there and looked out off her window. She hoped to see Edward coming in like he always did. Every night she waited for him but he never came. I told Edward everything and it hurt him so bad. Yet, he wanted to stay away because of the accident at her birthday. I watched her for him as often as possible. But one day he told me to stop. The day she found Jacob Black and guessed his secret.

"She can be happy now. Let's move on and leave her for good this time. Someday they will be happy, Alice has seen it."

After that day I watched her to give myself peace. I was not able to let Bella go. I needed her in my life because she was such a big part of out family. I still felt like she was one of us and whenever I thought about her I smiled and felt warm inside even though it was not possible for me.

I followed her to Jacob's house and I saw how he made her smile for the first time in months. I knew he was a werewolf and I knew he wouldn't hurt her because of her scent of race. They started kissing and holding hands. I never told Edward and when he was around I did everything possible not to think about it. Her relationship with Jacob became more and more psychical. He started sneaking in to her room whenever Charlie had fallen asleep just like Edward did. I crawled up to her room as well and listened to their conversations. She needed someone to be with her because she was afraid because of all of the nightmares she'd had after Edward left. Sleep was not the high priority for either Bella or Jacob.

Bella needed someone to be close to and Jacob was all she had left. All the time being under her window I I wished it was I embracing her and kissing her forehead until she fell asleep.

_I had followed them for a few months when I realized how much in love with Bella I was. After Esme and I had broken up and gone separate ways I had seen something more than 'just Bella' every time she visited or walked around in out house. I saw a beautiful young woman with a perfect body and a wonderful mind. I saw a smiling and shy person but when you got under her skin she was intelligent, funny, beautiful in every possible way and unique. She was all I ever wanted from a woman. I enjoyed her stays more and more and I often talked to her about books or movies whenever Edward had to go hunting. My feelings had to be putted aside as long as Edward wanted her. They were at each others age and I knew it was wrong to be with her, she was so young and innocent, and it was selfish of me to think of her as a mate for myself. _

_Yet I kept longing for her every time she was around. I wanted to be the one sitting at the dining table holding her hand under the table. Therefore I had to follow her to see she was okay even though it could never be with me. I needed to know Jacob took good care of her and didn't abuse her or forced her to do anything she wasn't ready to do. _

_That night I could feel something was about to happen. Bella had never had sex with Jacob. I knew because I had been listening and every time she told him it was too soon and she couldn't go through with it. This night was different. He talked to her in a way he had never done before. And she responded with moans, sighs and kisses. She was ready. Of course I wanted Bella to be holy but the pain inside my heart was unbearable. I had to stop them from being together even though it was the most selfish thing to do. I looked in to her room and hid myself in the shadows so they wouldn't see me if they looked at the window._

_Covered by her linnet he laid between her legs kissing her body. That beautiful body I had longed for for so long. He found something from a drawer. At least they used protection. I looked at her pale skin shinning in the light from the candles. She was so skinny and fragile and I was afraid she would break into a thousand pieces when he out his whole weight on her._

_The selfish part of me was ready to throw a rock through the glass if she didn't stop him. They should not be together he was not the right one for her - I was! The other rational part of me wanted to leave. To stay and watch them would only make things worse. I should go away and never return. Bells needed a normal boyfriend, or as normal as it could be with a werewolf. Some one she could be with without being turned. She deserved having a normal life, kids, a family. All the things we could not give her._

_Jacob was between her legs and before I could leave or throw my rock she kissed him again._

_"I want you Jacob."_

_The words broke my heart and I wished by all power in the world it was I laying there with her. But it would never be possible. It could never be with her. Bella was so beautiful, my own goddess. Jacob kissed her back and she stroke his cheeks and ran her fingers through his hair before merging her legs into his. _

_"Be careful," she whispered when he hugged her tight. It was now or never, she had to stop him. I could see it in her eyes. She was scared and sad. He was not the right one for her._

_'_Throw what damn rock you fool!'_ I thought. I needed to stop Jacob from doing this. Bells wasn't ready and she was too afraid to tell him._

_I tightened my grip around the rock and jumped to the ground. I aimed - and the stone crashed through her window. _

BPOV

_Jacob lay down between my legs when he'd gotten himself ready. I knew it was the right time and place, yet I was still afraid. Would it hurt? Would Edward be more careful? What if he hated me and left me whenever he had been together with me? I missed Edward. All I had was Jacob, but it would never make me happy. Satisfied and with a good and normal life, yes - But never truly and unbelievably happy._

_"Ready my love?" he whispered in my ear and kissed my collar gone. He knew I loved it and I closed my eyes and focused._

_"Be careful" I said and stroke his arms. He kissed me with passion and lust. I told myself to relax and when I felt him penetrate I was in chock. He was gently and kissed me all the time. His hair tickled my forehead and he pushed a little harder. Slowly he thruster himself all the way up inside me and back out. When he was on his way back in after kissing me a thousand times it happened. _

_A stone crashed through the glass and someone ran from under my window. I let out a tiny scream because it the chock. Jacob looked and me and held me tight._

_"Are you okay my darling?"_

_I nodded and pulled the linnet closer around us._

_"You better go now. My dad is up and I do not want him to find us here."_

_Jake grinned and kissed me before penetrating me once again._

_"Jake not now! Moment's over!" I said and rolled over to the side. Jacob kissed my shoulder, kissed my lips and my hip before turning and running away._

I woke up and saw I had drooled all over my biology book. Seriously Bella, I thought while looking outside my window. I was sure some one had been behind me when I had woken. I shook my head and pulled off my clothes. All right it had been really close with Jacob, I admitted it that much to myself. But you could never call it sex. And after that night the Cullens came back to Forks. I knew Jacob wanted to continue from where we left off that night. Something was just not right when Carlisle and Rosalie was around. After all they had no idea what had happened and if I started dating Jacob they needed the whole story and I was sure they should never have it.

I lay down looked out of the window covering my body. I needed to make sure nobody was out there throwing rocks at me. I sighed, pulled down the curtain, put on my nightgown and turned off the lights. I needed some sleep - and this time I needed to dream about anything else but my almost-sex-experience!

Before I fell asleep I could have sworn someone kissed my cheek. Cool lips like Edward's. Only they were different. More gentle and the person smelled like roses.

"Carlisle" I muted before falling asleep.

CPOV

I has finished hunting and just needed to make sure she was in her bed and not sleeping by her desk again. I crawled to her window and there she was. Her books were all over her desk and I carefully laid a hand on her shoulder to wake her up. She moved and I hid in the shadows of the corner. She would never notice me, especially not now when she was this tired. Bella woke up, looked around her and got ready for bed. When she undressed it was hard not to walk over to her and kiss every inch of her milk white body. Her skin looked so soft and her cheeks blossomed when she caught a look of herself in the mirror. She was still skinny after starving herself during the time without us and her collarbone, hips and ribs were more visible than necessary. She covered her breasts while reassuring nobody was out there - something she had done ever since my little breaking her window-trick. When she was almost asleep I sneaked to her bed. I wanted to wake her and make sure she noticed my strokes and kisses. Instead I kissed her cheek and looked at her for several minutes before turning towards her window. She moved a little before whispering my name.

I smiled and left her house like nothing had happened.

* * *

><p>There it was! Another chapter for you! Thank you so much for keeping me writing this story!<p>

Now, what is all this with Bella and Jacob? Will Bella fall in love with him again? And will Jacob tolerate the comeback of the Cullens?

How will Carlisle manage to hide his feelings from Bella?

What is Alice doing at the moment?

Please let me know your thoughts - I love reading them :)!


	7. Chapter 6: Beginning

A/N: Hey you guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews and comments I've gotten so far! It means a lot to me and therefore I already have a new chapter for you. I cannot believe all the readers who follow this story and I just want to tell you that I'm so happy! Thank you so much for supporting this story!

Some of you have asked a little about Alice and trust me - she will come, but not in this chapter. For those of you who wanted to hear about Jacob, this is a chapter for you :)! And the romance between Bella and Carlisle starts :)!

Thank you to my readers and by beloved beta DecemberLeNoir She is fast, honest and I love her support all the way through!

Enjoy the chapter and keep leaving reviews and comments - your opinion is very important to the story's progress and me!

DISCLAIMER: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. All the characters and the universe belong to her. I do own grapes that are soon all eaten and this iPad, which the story is written on.

Chapter 6 - Beginning

BPOV

That night I dreamt about Jacob and me as usual. His kisses and touches made me miss Edward even more and I knew I was crying in my sleep because infect like I cheated on him. The first penetrate was always the worst when the dream turned into a nightmare. He was violent and he held me so tight that I got bruises. I cried and wanted to scream. He kept thrusting harder and harder and when I looked at him he had a grin with sharpened teeth. Normally the dream would turn if I didn't wake up. All of a sudden the sex would be so gentle and candles would be lit all over my room. Instead of a fever-burning body on top of me I would feel cool and hard skin instead. The body would fit mine perfectly and the cold lips would kiss every inch of my body while penetrating me slowly and passionately.

When I opened my eyes in would no longer see a wolf raping me. I would see him. My beloved Edward laying with me and making love to me just the way I'd always dreamt of.

He would smile to me and stroke my cheek and neck before telling me how much he loved me. I would be safe, just like the times before he left Forks.

This night the same dream came to me. Only one thing was different. When I felt the cool skin the body felt different. It was stronger and more masculine. The thrusts felt more experienced and the arms around me had more muscles. I was somehow afraid to open my eyes. I feared it might be Victoria's dead mate, James. Maybe he was back from the dead and wanted to kill me now with Edward out of the way. Despite the fear growing inside me I opened my eyes - And then I met his gaze. His eyes were like deep oceans and if I looked into them for days I would drown. He was so beautiful and even though he wasn't Edward I felt happy and like the luckiest girl in the entire world. I wanted him to kiss me and claim my body. He was perfect for me I could fell it. Every thrust felt amazing and I closed my eyes and moaned.

"My love" he whispered in my ear and bit my collarbone gently. I moaned again. All the tears stopped running down my cheeks and he kissed my eyes, forehead and my nose.

"Kiss me Carlisle" I whispered and looked into his eyes once more. He moved faster and kissed my lips. He claimed me and I could feel his nails on my back.

Then I woke up.

I was gasping and I couldn't breathe. I looked around me and I was sure someone had woken me. _Please do not let it be Charlie_, I thought while removing my duvet. I felt hot and I was sure something had happened while I was asleep. My cheek felt cool and I could feel lips burning on it. Someone had been in my room, I was sure of it. Maybe it was just my dream playing tricks on me but I was sure and looked everywhere for a clue.

After a few minutes I was back in my bed. No clues were found and I finally realized what had happened in my dream. I had slept with Carlisle. And the worst part was that I had wanted to do it when I found out it was him. I wanted it even more than Edward.

I was in chock and I wanted to hide myself from the rest of the world. I had sex fantasies about Carlisle - My father in law. Or he was. Is? I was confused and shook my head. It could not be and if he ever found out I would die of embarrassment. The sex had been amazing, the best I'd ever had. _Best you've had in a dream, Bella,_ I corrected myself.

It was weekend and I had no idea what to do at 6am in the morning. The idea of calling Jacob came back to my mind. I missed him and I wanted to make things up to him. He wanted the best for me and I knew it. I needed a friend like Jake. I took a shower and put on some mascara before finding my cell phone. Just before I pushed the call button my phone rang. It was Carlisle. I was scared to death and felt a desperate need to throw the phone out of the window. Instead I accepted the call and tried to sound as natural as possible.

"Hey Bella, I was hunting and passed by your window and saw the light from inside your room. Are you okay? Normal teenagers would be snoring this time of day."

_Normal teenagers to do not have wet dreams about their once potential father-in-law. But even I had to admit he is gorgeous._

"I had a weird dream and couldn't fall asleep again."

"Do you want to come over for some breakfast? Rosalie is not home but she will be here for lunch."

My heartbeat raised and I started blushing. Of course I wanted breakfast - and I got a change to be alone with Carlisle. He called my name in the phone.

"Are you still there, Bella?"

"Yeah, I would love some breakfast. I can be there in an hour."

"Perfect. I can't wait to see you,"

I smiled and my cheeks blushed even more than before. The panic hit me. What should I wear? I wanted to look perfect when I saw him. The shower had already been taken care of. I wanted to do something about my hair but no matter what I tried to do it kept falling down or it looked stupid. I sighed and made an ugly face to myself in the mirror. Hair would just be covering my face as usual. I put on a little lip-gloss just to look a little more mature.

In the closet I couldn't find anything that would suit me properly. I tried to remember some of the fashion advices alive had given me on one of our shopping-days. Curves! I should show my curves because otherwise I would look like a little girl. I found a simple black shirt that showed my cleavage. It fitted perfect but Alice also found it. Everything she touched became gold. I looked like woman in that shirt. My breasts looked bigger and they were placed just like I wanted them to be with the push up bra underneath the shirt. You could see them but it wasn't slutty. _Thanks Alice, _I thought and found some skinny cowboy jeans to match the shirt with. When I left I actually felt confident. I was ready to be all the things I normally wasn't: sexy, confident and not clumsy.

I started my car and my heart was beating so fast that I was sure I would die before I reached the house.

_Relax for the love of God! It's Carlisle. He's the same person today as he was before your dream. Nothing will be changed between you. Don't get your hopes up too high. You might end up heartbroken again. Jacob was right about one thing. Vampires cannot be trusted when it comes to love._

The voice in my head spoke all the way home to Carlisle. I tried to make it shut up, but nothing helped. When I knocked on the door I was sure he could hear all my feelings scream out loud. I wanted it to be normal but how could it be normal after last night?

I knocked again. Nobody answered. I rang the bell and ended up trying to open the door myself. It was not locked and I went inside. There was no sound of music or footsteps inside. I tried calling out but no one answered. When I got to the kitchen Carlisle wasn't there. Breakfast was - And a note. I hated notes. I knew what it would say before I'd read it.

_**Dear Bella **_

_**I'm so sorry but worked just called and I need to take the shift for today. I'll be back for lunch. Rosalie called and she is away for the rest of the weekend. You are welcome to stay and wait for me if you want to. No one is forcing you to leave. **_

_**Hope to see you at lunch**_

_**Carlisle**_

I started crying and I had no idea why. Of course he had to work. He was a grown up. I could just take days off because I had no responsibility to a whole town. He was a doctor and the best of them because he had worked for centuries, literally. I'd wanted to sit with him and talk. And at some point I would kiss him and he would have told me how much he loved me. I hated myself for being so naive. Vampires could never be trusted. Once again I'd given my heart to someone and he'd just thrown it away.

_Bella pull you together. You have been in love with this man for what? 20 minutes? He made you the food and look how delicious it all is. He cares for you but he needs to work just like everyone else. And he will be home for lunch and you won't be disturbed. _

I hated the rational voice in my head but it was right. I needed to calm down and wait for Carlisle to come home. I ate the breakfast and wondered what I should do until Carlisle came back from work. I could read a book or watch a movie.

_Or go through his bedroom and office _the voice in my head said to me. I knew it would be wrong but it was too big a temptation. I cleaned up after breakfast and started the dishwasher before going upstairs.

Carlisle's bedroom was enormous. He had the biggest one and the kingside bed could have been there 5 times. I looked through drawers and closets. Only his clothes and the books he was reading at the moment.

_Well, well Dr. Cullen. Not even some handcuffs_ the voice murdered. I shook my head and wanted it to go away. Carlisle was not the type playing role-playing or sex games in bed.

Yet a part of me would have loved to find some cuffs or maybe some dices. I grinned and went to the bed, nothing under it. I lay down and inhaled the wonderful smell of him. I could have stayed there for days. I smiled and felt like I was in heaven. I hugged his pillow and finally I found something. It felt like a picture and I thought it would be of Esme. I know how much he missed her and that their breakup hadn't been that great.

I looked at it and I was in shock.

_At least you won't have to go through his office, _the voice grinned. I hid the picture, made the bed and went downstairs again. Holy fuck!

CPOV

I was on my way back home when a thought sneaked up in me. Had Bella found the picture? I'd placed it there because I knew her too well - Alone in a big house full of secrets. She couldn't resist it. She would search for things that could explain even more about my family and what we'd been through. The picture was under my pillow and I wanted her to find it. It could not be a coincidence that she whispered my name in her sleep. Therefore I had been at my office long enough for her to find the picture. They never called and asked me to work but I had a lot of paper work and it was a good excuse to be at the hospital for a few hours.

I really hoped she had been in the bedroom and found the picture. I parked my car a mile away from the house and ran home. Silently I sneaked in from my window. Her scent was all over the room. She had definitely been there. The bed smelled like her too. And so did the picture. She had seen it and touched it. Her fingerprints were on it too. I grinned and kissed the picture. It was a portrait of Bella that Alice had taken once.

She sat on a bench at school and the sun made her hair shine. She smiled shyly and waved at the camera. I loved that picture. I ran back to my car and drove home. I parked it, took my briefcase and shouted out in the hall.

She came from the living room, a book in her hands and smiled at me. Gosh, she was beautiful. That shirt was killing me - And the pants too. When she walked back to the living room her hips swung and all details on her back and ass were shown from the pants. Her breath had been perfectly shown by the shirt and I thanked Alice's love for fashion. I had never seen her look so beautiful.

"Coming or what Dr. Cullen?" she called. I could feel the lift growing inside me. This day would kill me. I entered and saw her on the couch. She was lying on her stomach and her back curved so her ass was pupping out. I knew she knew what she did to me. I sat down in the chair beside her and she smiled at me. She closed her book and sat up herself.

"I've something I want to talk to you about" she said and played with a tuft of her hair. She did that whenever she was nervous and I couldn't help but smile. She looked so sweet and innocent sitting in front of me like that. That was one if the many things I loved about her. She looked so vulnerable and sweet whenever she was shy and insecure.

"You can tell me anything Bella. Anything at all." She moved to one side of the couch and made a gesture for me to move over to her. I was a bit unsure but when she looked at me with her big brown eyes I couldn't resist. I sat down beside her and she looked up at me.

"This is something I could never speak to my own father about. He would never understand and he would be too protective all the way."

_Look how wrong this is! She sees you as a father, not a lover of a mate. You pervert, she's just a girl! _I knew my mind was right, but the thought of being with Bella made more sense to me by the minute. She was so perfect for me and I knew I could give her anything she ever wanted.

"Please tell me what's on your mind, sweetheart" I said and did the best I could not to sound too eager. I loved her voice and I wished she would talk forever.

_Jesus Christ, why was I thinking like a teenager! I'm supposed to be the grown up in this relationship!_

"I think I'm in love with this guy. I dream about him and I can't stop thinking about him. I know him really well and he knows me too. He has a wonderful family and I know they will come to love me someday as well. The thing is I have no idea how to tell him. Right now he is a really good friend and I'm so afraid to ruin the thing we have. What if he doesn't like me at all? It's going to be so fucking awkward if he only sees us as friends."

My mind started thinking. Fuck. Was it me she was talking about? What if I had misunderstood her signals all the way through? Maybe she had found someone at her school or from the town? I had no idea. But she knew I liked here that was for sure, because she had found the picture in my bedroom. Maybe she was laying tricks with me?

"How is he when you're around him?"

"He smiles more I think - Especially lately. Or maybe I'm just seeing those things because I want to. But he's so kind to me and I'm always happy when I'm around him. And he seems to be happy around me as well."

"Is he behaving differently ever since you got those feelings for him?"

"Well... I'll have to think about that one. I'm sure we would be perfect together. We would be a strange couple and I know a lot of people wouldn't approve. How should I found out what he feels for me?"

I lifted my shoulders and frowned. I'd been alive for centuries - I should know these things.

"The best ways has the most risks, Bella. But it works every time. How close are you with this guy?"

She sighed.

"What is the best way to find out?"

"You kiss him. And you put all your love and passion into the kiss. If he feels the same way you will not doubt it, trust me. But you never answered my question. How close are you?"

She looked me in the eyes and her chins blushed.

"Very close. He's sitting right beside me."

BPOV

There. I said it'll it was out in the open and now I could never take it back. Carlisle looked at me and frowned. What had I done? It was so wrong of me to tell him what I felt. I'd found the picture but that gave me no reason to tell him all my feelings. I was so stupid and I felt like running out and never come back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I'll now, I'm sorry."

I was so embarrassed and I took my bag and started to get up from the couch. He took my hand and asked me to wait. Fuck, now he was going to tell me what you could and could not do. He was too old for me, I was too young, and someday I would find a person at my own age. All the stuff I knew my daddy would tell me if I told him I was in love with Dr. Cullen aka my old father in law.

I sat down beside him and closed my eyes. I was ready for Mr. Rational to start speaking.

"Can I tell you a secret Bella?" he said and took both of my hands. I nodded in confusion. He stroked my cheek and made me look at him.

"That guy, he likes you, too."

And then he kissed me. He grabbed my arms and claimed my lips. I closed my eyes and responded his kisses. I was so relieved and a warm feeling filled my body. I ran my fingers though his hair and he laid lifted me up. We kept kissing and before I knew it we were upstairs on the king-size bed. Normally I wouldn't sleep with a guy this fast but I kept thinking, why not? I loved him so much and I felt like we had been together for years. I felt comfortable and safe with him. This was my true soul mate, I knew it.

"Isn't this something stupid teenagers do? Call themselves lovers and have sex after knowing each other for 2 days?"

Carlisle nodded and kissed me again.

"Except the fact we've known each other for 1, 5 years by now. And feelings can never be controlled." He kissed my collarbone and licked my skin all the way down to my breasts.

"This shirt kills me" he moaned and removed it. He opened his shirt and took it off. I couldn't help but my eyes widened. He looked like someone who lived in a gym. He was trimmed and the muscles were not too visible. He looked just perfect. Some sun hit his skin from the window and he started shimmering.

"You're so beautiful" I said and touched his torso. He smiled and lay down beside my once again, he claimed my entire body with his mouth and I prepared for him to remove my bra.

The phone rang. Of course the phone rang. I sighed and I didn't want h to answer it. He looked at the display and sighed.

"Its work baby," he said and answered. Work? Again?

"I have to go. I'm so sorry. It's an emergency and I have to operate right now. They cannot get her to the hospital in Port Angeles before it's too late."

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me in bed. He couldn't leave me in bed. He kissed me again and again but I could feel his patience getting lower and lower from each kiss. I tried to place his hand on my breast, but he kept removing it. Was there something wrong with me? How could he just ignore the fact that I was half naked and wanted him so badly?

"Please don't go baby. I need you here with me. Please don't leave me. I love you."

The words came about before I realized what I had just said. Fuck. I love you were big words and it had been months for Edward and me without any of us saying them. I had been "together" with Carlisle for 10 minutes and I already told him that I loved him. Seriously, this was getting weirder by the minute.

He looked at me and smiled. He stroked my cheek, kissed me and left bed without a word. He pulled his shirt back on and a minute later I could hear his car start and drive away.

I couldn't believe it. He had left me there without any reaction on what I'd told him. I texted him because I'd no idea what else to do.

_**Hey baby. Should I be in bed waiting for you when you come back?**_

I felt restless and was afraid to breathe until his answer came back.

_**Have to work now. I'll text you later.**_

How could he not care at all? I cried again. I felt like he'd been using me and I just wanted to wash all his kisses and touches away. I was glad we didn't have sex after all. God, what if he'd used me like a toy and now when I had fallen in loves with him I was no longer exciting? He'd already found another girl - I knew it. A new trophy he needed to claim.

I got out of the bed and putted my shirt back on. I had only one place to go. I needed comforting and love. I knew who could give me that.

* * *

><p>Here it is :D Please let me know what you think. Did U love it or hate it? What is your thoughts after reading this chapter?<p>

Where will Bella go?

Why won't Carlisle talk to her?

Is Jacob really that bad?

I'll see U soon! XoXo


	8. Chapter 7: Loyalty

A/N: Hey my lovely readers! I was up all night watching the Oscar show and I went to bed at 5am Danish time. I'm so tired but I had to start writing this chapter for you. I've gotten so many reviews and comments after the last chapter, and you have no idea how happy that makes me! I'm so thrilled and every time I read a comment from you guys, I start grinning and people must think I'm crazy!

I want to thank all of you because you are the ones who keep this story alive. I want to thank my beta because she is amazing, and she always knows how to improve my story! Finally I want to thank my cat for not eating my notes this time - thanks Jack! This time I actually know what to write (;

DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT Stephenie Meyer. All the characters belong to her and the universe too. I do own an oversize sweater and it's going to safe my day!

Chapter 7 - Loyalty

CPOV

When I left Bella I had a bad taste in my mouth. This was not the way I had intended it to be, yet, work called and maybe it was for the best. I had no idea what I would've done it we'd continued. I wanted Bella to me with me forever. It was a selfish thought and I couldn't bear to see her unhappy. If I wanted her to be with me forever, she would have to say goodbye to her family and her friends. Her life would never be normal. We would always move from place to place. She deserved better than that. I sighed and drove to the parking lot, parked the car and went to my office. No nurses were around, and I felt like something was terribly wrong. Thinking about it I hadn't seen any ambulances at the parking lot either. What the hell was happening?

Walking down the long corridors at started smelling a familiar scent. At first I thought it was Alice, but coming to think of it she would never hide. Alice was a straightforward kind of person. It was...

I opened the door to my office and found Rosalie sitting in the big couch. She frowned at me and I knew I was going to get in trouble. That look could only mean one thing - she knew.

"What the fuck are you doing, Carlisle?"

"Rosalie please listen to me, this is not what it looks like."

"Why are you messing around with Bella? Seriously Carlisle, she is like your daughter! This is so gross!"

She rose from her sweat and looked at me with blame in her eyes.

"We should help Bella moving forward! This is not doing that! If we have to leave or - which will happen - the day she finds another one, she will get her heart broken again! And you cannot turn her either Carlisle. She was meant to be with Edward. He's gone. Not it's over responsibility to give her a normal life for once."

I shrugged. Rosalie shook her head. She was already giving up and I had to say something to make sure she understood that Bells was more than just a fling.

"Rose, I know all those things. Why do you think I feel so bad right now? I know it was stupid getting involved with her but we feel the same way. I really love her - I know that, I haven't felt this way since Esme. Please let us try this out. I know it will work! I can control myself, I've been around blood for so many years..."

"Not Bella's, you know how she affects all of us. Her decent is the most powerful one I've ever smelled. You will not be able to control it once you are going to be with her for real Carlisle. Don't lie to your self. There is a reason I called you here and told you there was an emergency. I want you to stop this - for her! It is not right. What will people in town think? Her dad? Her mum? Her friends? You cannot go through with this."

I knew every word was true and being with Bella would be the most selfish action ever. But Edward decided it was okay for him even though he was a vampire. Therefore the only problem would be the age difference.

"I know what you're thinking Carlisle," Rose said before I have a chance to tell what I thought of the situation. "We gave her and Edward our blessing. But they were made for each other Carlisle. We knew it all of us. You are not her mate. You belonged with Esme. You had your shot Carlisle."

Fury rose inside me and I was sure I was about to explode.

"Please listen! I know all these things. Yet, she will have plenty of time to find another man before the question of transformation becomes relevant! With Edward it was different. They were about the same age. Yet, she will have 15 years or so to decide if she wants to be a part of our coven. Maybe this only lasts 4 years and then she leaves me. I will never let her go, Rose. She will be the one to leave us. Please give me your blessing and let me go back to her. We love each other and I've not forced her into this relationship."

Rosalie nodded. And smiled. I could not believe my luck. Was she going to let me be with Bella?

"I know you're wright Carlisle. And I truly want Bella to be a part of this family. She is my sister and I can't imagine not having her in our lives. Yet we have to be careful. If the Volturi finds out we have to find some kind of alibi. We have to be very still until Bella finds out what she wants later on in her life."

I understood the consequences and I had thought about them a hundred times. Yet, I knew life with Bella was the only thing for me. I slammed my forehead. What a jerk I'd been when I left her. I knew she was crying and I could we Rosalie knew my thoughts.

"I feel trouble coming Carlisle. You never leave a girl like that. Please hurry."

"You're right" I said and grabbed my coat. "I'm driving home right this second!"

"Not home Carlisle. She feels like you left her - just like Edward. She is with him. Please be gentle with her. She feels alone and had no intention in harming you. Before you came I heard her calling him. I'm so sorry."

I sat down. I was in chock. Was she cheating on me? This relationship was already breaking. I could feel my dead heart break inside me. Maybe it was for the best. I should let Bella go - forever...

BPOV

I put my clothes back on and felt ashamed. I felt used. I felt like a whore. I cried and wanted to run after him and tell him what he'd done to me. How could he do it? Just leave me like that. I knew he hated me. He just wanted my body and when he had been with me it would all be over - As simple as that. I couldn't believe how naive I'd been. Seriously, I should have seen it coming. A gorgeous man like Carlisle should not be with a little and normal girl like me. He should have a goddess. And I would let him have her. As soon as I was fully dressed I got to my car and called Jacob while driving towards his house.

"Bella? Wow, that's a surprise!"

I wanted to hang up but I needed to feel loved. Jacob was the only one who had ever really loved me - Never ever would he leave me. And I my life should never change for him. We could be together forever, like a normal couple.

"Jake, you were right. All this time you were right. Please let me come and see you. Are you alone?"

"My dad is at your place today Bells. What's going on? What did they tell you?" His voice changed as soon as he started talking about Carlisle and Rosalie -_The cold ones_.

"Let's just say they are as cold as their skin. I will never see them again Jake. I hate them so much, please let me come visit you."

I started crying again, and Jacob tried to calm me down. When my sobbing stopped I could hear him smile through the phone.

"Of course you can come and see me. I'll wait for you at home okay? Drive safely, love."

We hung up and I felt joy inside me. Of course I should be with Jacob forever. He was my true love, and nobody should ever stop us from being together. Not even the Cullens. When I thought about being its Jacob, something inside me felt wrong. I knew I loved Carlisle more. But after what de did to me, I couldn't be with him. I needed him to love me, not just abandon me on a bed as soon as his lusts were settled. Jacob would never do such a thing to me. I knew he wanted me to be more than happy.

'_Maybe you're overreacting just a little bit, Bella. After all you didn't sleep with Carlisle. Relax, take a deep breath and don't do something stupid_'.

My thoughts fought inside my head and I had no idea what to do. I knew it was childish trying to get Carlisle jealous by being with Jacob, but wasn't this the only way to find out if he loved me or not? If he could leave me like that, not return my calls or at least write me a comforting text what was there for us to build a relationship upon? I felt so hurt and whatever it took I needed comfort. Love. Safety.

I parked my car and knocked and the door. Jacob opened it and before I knew it he took me in his arms and carried me to his bedroom.

JPOV

I was surprised when Bella called. I thought everything was over for good. I had spied on her hen she had gone to the Cullens house. I had seen and heard everything, but when they ended up in the bedroom I left. My rage was unbearable and I had changed while running back to my house. All the other wolves could hear my thoughts, but I didn't care. They should know that the Cullens once again were a thread to us. They would turn Bella someday, and by that time we needed to be ready. It would be breaking our deal if they did so. And I knew what Bella wanted. She would give up her warm skin and her heartbeat - just to be with one of them.

When she called I knew something had happened. He must have pissed her off or left her in that bed - Something like that. Now I could prove to her I was right all along. I could be with her just like it was supposed to be before the bloodsuckers returned to Forks.

I waited for her to arrive and as soon as she rang the doorbell and I took her to my bedroom. We had unfinished business and this time no one should interrupt us.

She cried while I laid her down on the bed, but I kissed all her tears away. She smiled to me and kisses me. I knew she wanted this too. It had to happen, we were meant for each other.

"I love you so much Bella. I never want you to leave me again." I moaned and kissed her lips, her cheeks and neck. I tore her shirt and pants off. Her body was shaking and I took her in my arms and warmed her. My shirt and pants were on the floor too after a minute or two. We cuddled, kissed and moaned.

"Please do it Jake. I want you" she whispered and kissed me passionately. I did my best not to penetrate her and give in to all my lusts. I wanted her so bad.

"Show me that you love me Jacob. Show it to me. Please do it."

I couldn't resist anymore. I needed to do it before I exploded. I got ready and laid between her thighs. I kissed her over and over again. Slowly I penetrated her, but I couldn't keep the slow pace. I trusted myself into her and kept going. I looked at her - Her eyes where shut and she cried a little. After a few minutes she started moaning and I could feel her body started to relax. She let her fingers run through my hair and she kissed me. Her body started shaking and I knew she was close. I was as well but this was for her, not for me. I could wait.

"I love you Bella. So much. I'll never leave you. Come for me love."

She started shaking even more and I trusted harder than ever. She came. I couldn't hold it anymore. I came too and I kissed her before leaving her warm thighs. I lay down beside her and hid her in my arms. She didn't cry anymore but I could feel she was thinking about whether this was right or wrong. I looked up. He had been there all along. And he had seen what I'd done to her. I grinned at him while kissing her again. The pain in his face made me smile even wider. I started kissing her deeper and when we did it again I kept looking at him. If he could cry he would. If he could kill myself he would. I knew it. And it made me the happiest person in the world.

I grinned and almost laughed when I came inside her again. He would never have her. Not after what he'd done earlier that day.

He hid in the shadows and Bella looked his way. When we lay down beside each other again she rose and went to the bathroom. He was gone. I filled the whole bed and smiled. I had won for good this time. He would never come back. It was too late for him. I smiled and fell asleep.

BPOV

I needed to take a shower, when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt filthy. I was no longer untouched; someone had been 'there'. And not just anymore - It had been Jacob. I started crying. I feel to the floor and grabbed I towel to hide my sobbing. I couldn't stop and I regretted everything that had just happened. This was not how it was supposed to be. And the worst thing war that I'd enjoyed it. It had been so good and my body couldn't get enough. I wanted to find a razor and kill myself. I was so ashamed and I needed Carlisle more than ever.

Arms found my shoulders and hugged me tight. They were cool. I wasn't in chock or screamed. I had seen him standing there, watching us. Something inside me knew he was there. And a mother part of me knew he was so heartbroken and he would never be able to forgive what I'd just done to him.

"I'm so, so sorry love. I'm so sorry. Please leave me. Never love me again. Never forgive what I just did. I'm so sorry. Pease kill me," I whispered in my towel but I knew he heard it all. He rocked me from side to side until I stopped sobbing. I was not able to lo at him because of the shame inside me. I felt even more used now and I wanted to wash it all away from me.

"I love you Bella. It's okay. Please don't feel sorry. I'm so hurt but I will forgive you. Please leave with me. Let me bring you home. Rosalie will take care of you there, okay?"

I forced myself to look at him. I could see it in his eyes. He wasn't lying. I sighed and I tried to smile. He cupped my face in his cheeks and kissed my eyes. The tears stopped and I rose with his help. I went to Jacob's room, got my clothes, wrote a note saying I had to leave, and got back to my car, Carlisle drove because I was in too much chock.

Somehow I got inside and the last thing I remember is Rosalie striking my hair until I fell asleep.


	9. NOTE FROM ME TO YOU

A/N: Hey dear readers!

I'm writing this for you to tell you my story is far from over!

I've been hit by a writer's blockade and I really hate when those happen. Therefore this story is on standby. I would rather give you some great chapters instead of just giving you some shit I had to write to keep the story going. Please forgive me and I promise there will be more very soon!

I love you all and thank you so much for reading my story, reviewing it and telling more folks about it – you're the best fans I could ever get!

XoXo Xenia


End file.
